anathematics the counting of awful things
apolyglottic sorry about not speaking many languages
apopalypse end of the world by overcrowding
arabisque soup for belly dancers
avengelist bringer of bad news
baker’s doesn’t eleven rolls
bardello whorehouse for poets
bigmy potentot
bignitary VVIP
cantopener faulty kitchen tool
carpsichord musical instrument that complains when you make mistakes
cerebrity famous thinker
Circa goddess of approximations
clandestination secret rendezvous
contretrumps minor setback in bridge
desperanto international language of bandits
dialectessen place where Hegelians eat pastrami sandwiches
dictatochip snack for tyrants
dieties gods of weight loss
dismambulator baby carriage that tears apart babies
drousers pajama bottoms
entrepenurious full of ambitious plans for going bankrupt
epicalypse Third Coming
festidigitator one who pinches girls at parties
fibbonachos Mexican snack where one bite leads to two, two bites lead to three,
three bites lead to five, five bites lead to eight, eight bites lead to thirteen . . .
fraturniquet brotherly first aid
freakeasy opium den
generocide wiping people out for their own good
genufraction ceremonial knee-breaking
gisticulate point to the point
glimp reconnaissance dirigible
gnusis esoteric knowledge of wildebeests
grimlin bloody-minded dwarf
hearspray rumor passed from coiffeur to coiffeur
hemigogue apprentice mass-agitator
hemisemidemiquiver last spasm of a dying flea, or
container for songs about miniature archery
henceman one who infers what his boss wants
hensation commotion raised by a rooster
hiberniate spend the winter in Ireland
hippodream racetrack for nightmares
horniculturalist connoisseur of lust
humbris underweening pride
hystereotype caricature that causes panic
idillitry pickle-worship
indignition outrage over a car that won’t start
inuition Eskimo insight
irredentistry science of reclaiming lost teeth
itchcraft art of giving someone hives by magic
jurisprudery blue laws
kalitosis good breath
lendthrift soft touch
malcohol bad booze
maledictory parting curse
malthusiasm delight over mass starvation
mentropy exhaustion of ideas
metrapolis large city from which there is no escape
millodrama soap opera with a thousand episodes
moodoo magic practiced by cows
mucillade volley of glue
nespotism tyranny of cousins
nihilarity joyous bomb-throwing
nostalgae seaweed that causes homesickness
obtruce cease-fire no one understands
ominobus large menacing vehicle
ostrachize punish someone by pretending he’s not there
otterloo weasels’ last stand
peremulate walk like someone else
perverb dirty old maxim
pestiary book of vermin
phlegmzy fit of coughing
pilfrey home for stolen bats
piscotheque dance hall for fish
plethargy group indolence
poltrine outhouse for chickens
porm obscene verse
pornithologist dirty bird watcher
pregulations rules governing the rhythm method
prehistoic stiff-upper-paleolippic
prigeny parthenogenic children
prigmy impotentot
proclastinate avoid something until it breaks
protectile anti-missile missile
purridge soft food for cats
sacerdotage priestly senility
sansscript earliest form of writing, with no characters
sartori mystical illumination of tailors
sibjection ordering around your brother or sister
skulldrudgery laborious conspiracy
spaghetto Italian slum
sparendipity problem of mediocre bowlers
splindor shattered glory
sploon utensil for eating while angry
squandary dilemma over how to spend all of one’s money
stoolhardy not giving a shit
stupension severance pay for a lobotomy
swino drunken pig
tadpool day-care center for frogs
teleoloscope instrument for viewing one’s destiny
tinder-hearted easily inflamed by passion
tintintabulation the counting of bells
transcrit language used on ancient college records
umbilishment navel adornment
uncannilever beam supported at neither end
verminion ten red mice
worstiary book of disgusting animals
Michael Ferber, Laurence Marschall, Paul Chalmer